very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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