Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
