The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
