and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
