i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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