I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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