I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you would pick up someone in the library
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
