Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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