Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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