is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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