wanna go halves on a baby?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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