porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
