I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
