omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize