David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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