You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize