people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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