And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i will never coherently bang her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
