He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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