I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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