we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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