Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
