Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
