I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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