I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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