I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
