This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
