It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
