it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Found the puke drawer
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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