I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
