My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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