So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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