Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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