I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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