I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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