16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
