This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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