His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
