You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
