My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize