I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
