I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize