New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
