Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize