my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
