Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
