She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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