girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
