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do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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