Dual....:-)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
