I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
