my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
