who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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