Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
