totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
