I've blown a few things in my day
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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