Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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