I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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