Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
